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June 30, 2017

June 30, 2017

June 30, 2017

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Snake Venom

June 30, 2017

I bought some cream for my face. It was on offer and I’m nearly forty.

 

Snake Venom, it said, will instantly freeze your wrinkles. I dropped it in my basket and moved on to the nappies and wipes.

 

Hang on, Snake Venom? Really?

 

Improved Formula with SYN-AKE, a snake venom-like peptide.

 

That sounds artificial, and toxic, but I really don’t want to look old.

 

Instant Effect Wrinkle Filler, for visibly smoother and plumper skin.

 

Mercury, Botulism, Leeches straight from Medieval Physick onto our twenty-first century faces.

 

Poison is the acceptable face of beauty.