June 30, 2017

Have you lost your mind? Where’s your sense of humour?

My mind goes everywhere it can, it loves to travel.

My sense of humour is not on call; it turns up when it feels like it.

Is your heart really in it? Listen to it, what does it say?

My heart is wherever I am, beating i...

June 30, 2017

Politely turning down offers is not an option. I can’t look after the kids, I can’t do anything.

My chest is rattling and my skin oozing sweat, my legs weak and unreliable.

I don’t even feel like writing. Speaking hurts.

Doctor saw me within hours, out of hours, efficient...

June 30, 2017

I bought some cream for my face. It was on offer and I’m nearly forty.

Snake Venom, it said, will instantly freeze your wrinkles. I dropped it in my basket and moved on to the nappies and wipes.

Hang on, Snake Venom? Really?

Improved Formula with SYN-AKE, a snake venom-li...

June 30, 2017

It’s Heathcliff’s fault, and River Phoenix and Pete Doherty didn’t help much. It becomes a habit.

Of course, no one is good or bad, there are only shades and flaws.

She doesn’t need him to spear a mammoth.

She’d like to talk about books and ideas and feelings. Yes. Those.


June 30, 2017

Mummy, I would like a humming-bird and also, I would like a swan.

Well, there are no humming birds in Scotland, and I think all the swans belong to the queen.


Emm…history? They just do. We can’t keep them as pets. Anyway, they’re fierce.

The Queen is greedy, keeping a...

June 30, 2017

Paddling in the cold peaty water, the river stole his left jelly shoe and my right flip-flop.

He uses the slimy wooden weir as a slide.

She doesn’t like the moss and pine needles touching her tiny toes. She’s hot and sad today.

He wades out to a grassy island to share his...

June 30, 2017

I like it when people have harmless rituals against their fears.

She walks past the piano, and plays a G for good.

She will salute a solitary magpie.

She will never begin a journey without St Christopher around her neck.

She will always leave through the same door she came...

June 30, 2017

It took me a long time to find a way to look.

Bleach and eyeliner, velvet and leather, black and silver.

Boots and lipstick, a diamond in my nose.

Now this is me. Like it or not.

It’s superficial, but it’s an achievement. To know how you want to look.

There are other things...

June 30, 2017

Mummy, imagine if there was a tree as big as twenty-eight million thousand school buses, and it went up as high as the moon?

Would you climb up that tree to the moon?

Yes, I would climb and it would take lots of days and years. I would go with Polly.

What would you do on...

June 30, 2017

I have only a finite number of steps for city walking. Glamour, squalor, edification and dereliction crowd me like the filthy pigeons. It looks best from the rooftop, or better still the Crags. Footsore and sticky, we take the Waverley Steps. I’m glad when the train cr...

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